


Captured By The Supreme Leader

by butterfingers, ColliderOfHadron



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And what the hell is Mitaka listening to :0, Bad Smut, Big Gun, Exploding clothing, F/M, Fully armed and operational, Hux doesn't have a clue, I can't believe we wrote this, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo shows us some force skills you may not have previously thought of, Okay - you probably already thought of that one, Rey Finds Something Huge, Reylo Bad Smut-a-thon, Reylo bad smut, Smut, Thermal detonators, You may nevr think of the following terms in the same way again, bad star wars jokes, really bad smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 03:48:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17015112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterfingers/pseuds/butterfingers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColliderOfHadron/pseuds/ColliderOfHadron
Summary: “So, we meet again, my wicked Jedi girl,” Kylo said, his dark eyes tunneling into Rey’s chest as his gaze made her feel hot, like a radiator. She flattened herself against the wall, her bosom heaving beneath the fastenings of her jacket.“Where am I?” she gasped. Kylo raised an eyebrow.“My bedroom,” he declared seductively, looking at her like a man seeing his first nerf-burger after six years on ration packs.“Oh,” Rey said. She looked down and saw something huge.





	Captured By The Supreme Leader

**Author's Note:**

> As we’re possibly two of the more, ahem, mature ladies in the fandom, we felt it’s time to demonstrate just how adult we are by launching a “Reylo Bad Smut-a-thon” to give everyone a bit of a giggle in the run-up to the tumblr total tiddie shutdown on December 17th.
> 
> Inspired by the hilarious “dick attack” post that did the rounds a while ago, we decided to have a go at writing our own, and we’d like to encourage all Reylos out there to do the same – we want to see some of the most ridiculous, crazy sex scenes you can come up with, the funnier the better. Silly words for body parts, hilariously inappropriate descriptions, we want it all! Finesse and writing skills are not needed here. We’re looking for Sharknado in the bedroom, smut so bad it’s good. Actually if you’re wondering if your smut is good enough then you’re probably asking the wrong question. We want you to give us your bodice ripping best…or worst as the case may be.
> 
> If you would like to take part please tag your posts as #Reylo bad smut so that we can keep track of any responses.

* * *

 

 

“So, we meet again, my wicked Jedi girl,” Kylo said, his dark eyes tunnelling into Rey’s chest as his gaze made her feel hot, like a radiator. She flattened herself against the wall, her bosom heaving beneath the fastenings of her jacket.

“Where am I?” she gasped. Kylo raised an eyebrow.

“My bedroom,” he declared seductively, looking at her like a man seeing his first nerf-burger after six years on ration packs.

“Oh,” Rey said. She looked down and saw something huge. His bed. It was enormous. Her innards came to life, vibrating and squelching in response to the lava-hot intensity of his gaze.

“Have you come to join with me?” he breathed amorously. Rey’s hand wandered to her bosom, which seemed to have inexplicably swelled like a couple of crash balloons, while the fastenings of her jacket were ready to pop, spilling out their saucy bounty.

“I…I came to ask _you_ t…to join with _me_ ,” she stammered.

Kylo flung himself away from her, his body stiff and upright. “I cannot! It is my destiny to rule the galaxy,” he growled in a really manly way.

Rey defiantly stepped away from the wall to stand in front of the bed. “Then you leave me no choice. I will do what I must.”

Kylo’s head quickly turned to follow the sound of ripping fabric and he immediately became knotted in the swathes of Rey’s super cool Jedi outfit as it was force-flung about the room. She stood naked, fresh and edible before him. Except for her boots. For some reason she’d forgotten about them. She lifted a leg and one boot shot off. Then she lifted the other, shooting that boot off too, almost hitting him in the bollocks. Oops.

Rey looked back up at Kylo, who was now draped in everything from her wraps, fastenings, capri pants and her… he force-floated her knickers from the top of his head, and stood before her quivering body. The call of his hungry cock echoed around the dark cave of her pussy as the pink tips of her tits hardened into snack-sized target spots for his hot mouth and, boy, did he want to eat that snack right now.

“So this is how you want to play it,” he purred. The force swelled until, with a mighty rip, Kylo’s clothes _exploded_ from his body.

Rey swallowed, confronted by a manly expanse of snowy white skin – lots of it, all over him. But that wasn’t all. She looked down at the thrusting vision of his manhood, the lance of his loins in surprise – she hadn’t even known _that_ was down there. Her eyes boggled. How the hell could he have kept it hidden in his trousers all this time, without her noticing? She’d looked enough times. She licked her lips juicily.

“Fuck me, Kylo Ren. Fuck me like we’re a pair of Rancors in rutting season. Like you’re a Rathtar and I’m a massacre waiting to happen. Like…”

“I know what I have to do,” he smirked, followed by a come-hither stare that sent a tsunami of hot goo gushing forth from her pussy.

He fell on her as they landed on top of the bed, their bared flesh slapping against each other like two wet sea lions.

 

Kylo’s lips chased hers, crashing down on her as though he was trying to staple their lips together. Rey writhed beneath him, greedily grabbing at the springy flesh of one of his buttock cheeks – the one on his left. It was better than the other one.

 

As he moaned into her mouth, her breasts wandered around her ribcage, up, down, left, right, around the corner and back again, as they desperately sought his touch. She craved him with a desire stronger than her need for a hot dinner. He groaned as his mighty hands finally clamped about her boobs, those mounds of Moraband that were the focus of all his dirty dreams, the ones that he hoped his mother never saw when she was sneaking a peek at his thoughts. Not that it mattered – he refused to talk to _her_ any way. Damn, why was he thinking of his mother?

 

“Kylo! Focus,” Rey snapped. He clapped his gaze back on Rey and the way her bounteous bulges jumped and cavorted in his enthusiastic grip like a couple of Sith on a Jedi grave. Not satisfied, Rey reached down and gabbed his balls like they were a pair of thermal detonators.

 

“Bone me, Kylo Ren,” Rey begged, pressing her hot fuck hole against his enormous cock, which was now poking her as if she’d somehow fallen asleep, which she hadn’t. She was very, very awake.

 

Rey continued to fondle his nuts and marvelled at how silky they felt, leading her to wonder whether a loth kitten had in fact curled up and fallen asleep right under his arsehole. Kylo groaned as she juggled the weight of his dangly bits as though assessing honey melons on market day, and she worked her way up towards his dick, which was now waving about like a giant magic wand casting a force spell on her. A really naughty one. 

 

“Oh Kylo.” She desperately wanted some action in her trenches and his fully armed and operational big gun was just what she needed. She moaned a lot as she spread her legs, tempting him to start his bombing run early.

 

He suddenly pulled away. Rey stopped – what was going on here. Had she done something wrong? But she needn’t have worried - he used his powers to summon a condom, and their panting sounds were drowned out by the noisy squeaks and the slap of the rubber love sock being stretched over his enormous fleshy lightsaber.

 

“Oh Kylo,” she cooed as he slid finger after finger into her, desperately hoping it was the right hole. He’d never seen a furburger before so he’d had to guess. “OooOh Kylo.” She was making all the right squelchy sex sounds and seemed happy enough, so he just carried on. How many fingers was that now? Two hands of fingers. Kylo was working her like she was a wet typewriter.

 

“Please,” she begged. “I can’t wait another second.” He scaled her heaving frame and promptly swallowed half her face with sloppy kisses, repeatedly missing her lips by accident. He finally entered her like a torpedo being rammed home and ready to fire, deeper and deeper until she wasn’t sure just how much more of him would fit in there.

 

“OooooH Kylo,” she purred. She was so full of him she certainly wouldn’t be wanting dinner later.

 

****

Meanwhile – on the bridge of the Finalizer, General Hux paced his way to Lieutenant Mitaka’s station, who surreptitiously pulled his ear piece out and switched off the SL surveillance feed he’d been listening to. Hux looked at him sideways, a wrinkle puckering his pasty brow.

 

“Is it just me, or is this ship rocking?”


End file.
